The Screen Junkie

..crossroads..

For the past few days, this world of mine turned upside down as the sands of time brought me back to the past I once tried to conceal. The last night I retained this facade was the night before Maundy Thursday. Things were apparently normal as I text with everyone else including .... I finished downloading Smallville episodes and snoozed off til my gramps called me up and asked if I wanted to go with him for the bisita iglesia... At first I hesitated cuz I really lacked sleep... but then again, I realized how much I owed "HIM" since I had so many shortcomings especially when it comes to prioritizing HIM first. And I missed bonding with my gramps... hehe soo I went with them.

The journey felt like a quest. It had reasons behind it. For every church you enter, it's as if you can really feel the misery HE enveloped in order to save us all. But with this experience, I can say I really enjoyed what I was doing. I was reading with my gramps's Handbook of Prayers alternately with my 6 year old cuz... It was cute watching 3 age-gapped people reading passages altogether without thinking of anything else. You can feel the solitude of one's mind and heart, sincerely dedicating this sacrifice to HIM. But the real passion didn't start here. It started at KFC. hehehe

My gramps treated us out for lunch after the bisita iglesia. As I eat my piece, the background music raptured this spell that made me stared point-blank out of thin air; Outspoken, blunt, and yes... candid. After that, my gramps began calling my name bringing me back to the real world I was sitting in. After the song, another one was played that really swooned me out. I felt as if it was unlocking the door that was once closed, that shouldn't be opened again. Since I can't get it off my head, I sent a message for evasion. But, it actually didn't. It brought me back to the ground that I once contrived with difficulty and pain. But I didn't land to that actual place. I landed somewhere pleasant. Of course, the questions didn't escape this conversation. We opened up a few things and cleared unanswered ones. But THANKS TO SUN'S INCONVENIENCE (curse you!!) we were unable to answer other impt. ones. So for the daily routine, I watched smallville til it was very late and slept in the couch.

It was Good Friday then when my mom woke me up early and told me to take a bath cuz we were going to Tagaytay. I sat at the back with my sister... we fetched Tito Arnie's sons in Makati and ate breakfast at Shell Select's Hen Lin's along the highway. I needed to load for my sun since it was running out of credits for other networks. Unfortunately, they ran out of stock... So i decided to load up my globe nalang... we communicated the whole day, reminisced and talked about some serious stuffs. Btw.. I went OYABAK RIDING in Tagaytay!! whuhoo!! haha.. its been a long time since I rode one na kasi soo I dared myself to ride one again. (Pics: to be updated soon... hehehe) We ate at Leslie's and then chilled off at Starbucks... macchiatto.... Then went back to Manila.

As I lie down in my bed, staring at the four corners of my room, I began reflecting... about the 2 days that happened to me lately, the amercement of history... and of course.. the status of the present. My thrill.. My wonderwall.. these feelings won't change...

But the real challenge i've discovered is that... I've placed myself now in the middle of a crossroad, one road leads to the past, I guess its purpose is to rebuild wounded memorias and to learn more of our mistakes. And the other leads to the unknown... a life in the present that keeps me alive and optimistic everyday... I am happy with both.

The answer to that is yet to be uncovered. For me, the best way is to balance everything first and look deep within your thoughts to discover the truth. Balance every situation you've been through, be it happy, depressing, painful, or pleasant. And in that way, the results will come out reliable, vital, and the way which will pull you out of this word... regret.

My post ends here... Btw.. I didn't eat meat!! whohoo!! I was able to control temptation! haha anyway.. im Signing off... things won't change here. Whatever life I have in the present... I'm still living with it.

posted by the only juz @ 3/26/2005 11:27:00 AM