The Screen Junkie

-- Walter Anderson

It's true whenever they say that one's expectation of true happiness cause other people's misfortunes in life. Sometimes you get too much in ways of having / attaining rewards you wouldn't think you deserve (e.g. having / attaining high grades, etc.); More so when you feel like the world is on the breach of your palm and yet no one else would be able to take it away from you. It's the feeling of boosting your alter-ego claiming to be the luckiest person alive... but next in line follows a sequence or pattern that obviously turns your unreachable positon (or from where you are) to the lowest. It demotes you.. scrutinate you... even sweep you off like a loser.

constructive criticism - criticism or advice that is useful and intended to help or improve something, often with an offer of possible solutions

So let's say this works for some who finds criticism their booster... and other challengers who dare themselves capture the hearts of those who judge their own work. Hopefully with the use of this teaching... I may become a good illustrator (someday...) but sometimes, all these expectations just turns out as a wasting moment of deterioration. It degrades your own personality, your art, your masterpiece, your skill, and even your dreams. It's a good thing we didn't have much classes this wee and I even got an 89 percent grade in our Design and Color subject which happens to be one of the subjects I thought i'd flunk. Is it just plain luck? :-s or maybe not... :p And with this triumph... another force balances it by affecting my relationships with other people.

I have been through a lot of thinking these past few days and from what I've seen, heard and felt especially in recent time... I think my mind has fully incapacitated hope for this kind of nocturnal situation. Hadn't it been obvious that from what I've been through before, it has now taught me how to tackle serious stuffs like trauma and unleash the most possible way of controlling it? ...

We don't need someone in order to be happy. Although having someone means saying goodbye to loneliness... it doesn't necessarily mean that we have to find or even be desperate in searching for "the definite answer". Just think that by means of being TRUE TO YOURSELF... we can escape the fear of being alone.We get the true feeling of contentment...
Risks are chances bound not to be missed because of its truths that molds us to be whole. It may sound ironic but knowing that these people who risk too much for their loved ones, is a tragic act of unselfishness and unconditional love. BUT for me??? this one is WAY better than those who just wants a sure-shot relationship wherein they only start making moves whenever they think its already safe. Bitter? haha How pathetic... What happened to the big lost word called unconditional?

All these may sound absurd... but in every word shown in these lies an abundance on being honest to myself. You know it feels good on having the chance of releasing it out despite of all the barriers, but it's much better to think that doing this is just being plain honest to yourself.