The Screen Junkie

..indelible..

To sum it all up... It was a week full of unexpecting events. Shocking, frustrating, sad and of course... happy moments. It was a week wherein I had this great walk in the clouds. although sad consequences followed when it began to change my perspective towards my goal in this new life.

I'm yet in this parsimonious stage but rest assure... i'll be back for more updates.
*i'm still waiting for the pics..*

Ergh... i'm really into this but the last thing I remembered was not to get deeper in it. I am soo lost. ( Sorry folks... but only friends closest to me right now know what i'm talking about. If you're interested.. just call me up. ) I told myself that i'd change. In fact, when I listened to the lecture of my Theology professor... the message he was trying to convey to us immediately struck me up. Well... I guess it was only me who dug it seriously since 3/4 of the class were just staring point-blank at him. He's a good speaker. And with the topic of sin and temptation... what more can I expect?

Don't get me wrong. I ain't doing anything bad. And this covers the others or to what I call 'my neighbor'. But I just can't deny the fact that i'm almost there. The edge of this taciturn life. And then what happens to me once I drift away from this? I guess i'd be in it's what they call the 'kapit sa patalim' situation. ( No, i'm not into drugs, nor alcohol, nor smoking nicotine, nor any nasty vice you'd ever think. ) It's obviously clear that the struggle is within myself and my past.
When in place on the middle of the borderline... there is definitely a side you would undoubtly choose. But which one is it? How can you identify the right one?

Is it the past that taught you unacceptable (by others) happiness.. or the present that teaches you contentment to be happy with yourself. Only with yourself (which probably gives you an improbable feeling of loneliness)?

Is it the mind that teaches you what others want you to do... (which is actually right but just gives you great skepticism) or the heart that wants you to learn in opening your doors again? (only to find yourself stranded again on achieving the peaceful place where you are right now).

Risks. Geez... Why do we always have to run into these?

I know this entry won't make any sense, but for me... it's as good as for the world to know what i'm grieving into.

posted by the only juz @ 8/07/2005 07:17:00 PM