The Screen Junkie

.. unexpected ..

With all the commotion of what's happening around me... I suddenly realize how time flies soo fast. Soo fast you get soo shock at things you least expect. But all I can say is that... No matter how hard you try in avoiding these things... it will always haunt you til you embrace it and accept the fact that this is actually your destiny.

I must admit... i'm still scared and I don't know why.... but for sure i'll curse myself once I do anything stupid.

I wish I could be the right one for you. I wish you won't regret this. I wish my mind clears up and just feel at ease for a short amount of time. I wish I could normally breathe again... cause all it ever does is palpitate. I wish for this tension to stop. I wish for this mind to conclude. I wish for my friends to support. I wish for this new world to work out. I wish I can be myself again. And I wish I can be the person you'd want me to be.

Oh God... i'm soo scared. I know i'm ready for this. I know this won't hurt other people. I know what I agreed to was true. But why do I feel the intense contradiction of my body... part by part? Why does the mind drain all my energy with all these damn moral values; My stomach twists and hurt soo much; My face can't help but smile... and my heart cries out for my angel's name. :c What the hell is wrong with me?? Geezz... I hope everything will turn out just fine. Cuz I really get the feeling that this is wrong. :c Do I deserve this? Do I deserve to give myself another chance to open these doors again?

The only truth I know right now is that yes... I am in-love with you. my angel. Thanks for everything. Thanks for making me happy. :)

posted by the only juz @ 8/12/2005 11:16:00 PM