The Screen Junkie

..not the first day funk..

Well.. My grandma woke me up very early and made me leave at quarter to 6. I was supposed to meet a friend at 6am at Jollibee to ride the jeep with her... But she got there 20 mins. later. Sooo what did I do? Just waited and watched jeepneys pass and go. I arrived in UST at 7:20 and Claire met me as I ended the *where are you?* call. We saw our batchmates there (Joanna, Maris, Marte, Toni and Krisselle). It was a good thing Claire advised me to wear civilian first cuz know why?

Classes were postponed.

Grr.. But anyway, after we bonded with the others... Claire and I had our commuting adventures to UE cuz we were supposed to meet up with Vinna. After the long walk... We finally got there and held the meeting place at Wendy's. Unexpectingly, Steph was there with Vinna. Also unexpectingly crazy, she asked me to go with her in St. Paul to visit our friends from the lower levels. The truth is... I had no plans. And there was my heart... beating fast. I hesitated at first, but she was able to convince me later on. Somehow I wouldn't want to regret not facing my fears so instead of going home with non-stop blurbing of the mind... I prepared.

As we reach the gates of our former school. We saw our other batchmates and you know the typical reactions. Same goes to my other friends whom I've gotten really close with and other teachers I used to bond with. I met Portia and Nadine. We just stayed in the 3rd floor until we decided to see the new seniors.

I didn't feel the beat anymore. It was replaced with excitement and joy. Not seeing your friends for a very long time truly longed for the bond you've held on soo tight. Then there it was... My fear. I knew i'll be seeing that face again. The once held but forgotten past. I felt a little pinch back there.. But I kept on and focused more on my true purpose for spending my time there instead of going home. As I notice my other friends... I tried to hold on to my present thought. Was it self-denial? pretentions? *deadma mode ka nalang?* But I didn't let it dominate... and it was an added point for me. I saw other people... special ones whom I've happily seen and embraced. :) Asaran, kulitan, landian haha.

When we decided to leave, my ex-research teacher Ms. Joy asked me if I wasn't busy soo we can hang-out. Oh did I agree so much! :p Then we bonded and talked about crazy things. Things that made me feel like a real kolehiyala. :p hidden issues not bound to be known to the public. Well of course, the paulinian public. After that we went back to school and shockingly found my other batchmates sitting in-front of the highschool office. Soo I joined them and bonded til we grew in abundance and dominated the 2nd floor corridor once again. I miss these champs! ;p

When they decided to eat out, I was supposed to go... but my friend Nicole asked me to stay. My other kabarkada Cyan stayed with us too... And planned to eat out with the Kada01. Since their newly built schedule sucked a lot! including time... Cyan and I decided to go home. Carpool... aww.. miss that. While waiting, I saw my other friends and greeted them. Even the once faded thrill came into my sight. And there I felt slight bliss I have lost for a long long time. :)

Then the scars flared again as I felt the presence coming forth, ignoring this with pure might. But the hell??! I just want it to heal. Soo I can finally move on. Well I guess it's not that easy right? But hey.. I'd still stand up to the decision i've made. No regrets. :)

And as for the bright side, I was soo happy seeing my fellow alumnae. And even with my classes moved, and fears I've faced... There are still those whom I cannot trade in with anything else.... My Friends. :)

Tomorrow is the official class day... and I'm wearing my uniform with a smile inside and out! :p

WISH ME LUCK! ;)

Signing off.

posted by the only juz @ 6/14/2005 07:14:00 PM