...zzzZZzzzzZzzZzzzz....
its our last day of classes... *what I meant was.. our lessons...* Yesterday, i've watched this flick where my high hopes and excitement didn't disappoint me... :) yeah.. I loved it! haha... it's
We watched it in Galleria with my fam. Cinema1, and my sister and I really enjoyed this one! :) It was nice watching Jim Carrey and the children's crazy but cool ideas. Especially Violet... hah! Emily Browning.......... geezz... she sure is pretty enough to watch on the big screen! :D But anyway.. here are some scenes from the hilarious movie... :)
one of the best films ive ever watched... btw.. ive also watched eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. The ending was nice... and I wonder.. is there really a machine that erases your memory? hmm... well anyway... my mom also brought me CDs.. and the superman DVD collection.. nah! only pirated ones... and ive been saving up for summer.. i guess.. i dunno why.. maybe to watch more movies!! hahaha pero eh.... its our finals tomorrow.. until the 3rd... and im gonna start studying after resting.. haha wish me luck.. couch potato... i'll end this na.. but before that...
Besty: I just care for you a lot... if you won't listen pa din.. its your choice..
Glenn: Happy!(?) bad jke ba? hehe deadline pa dba? hehe kidding.. well.. i guess your happy with your sweepy na.. :)
Cha: Muntik ko na masira doorbell nyo.. nauna ka na pala... indiyanan pala eh! hahahaha jke lang! at dahil jan.. meh utang ka pang date sakin! haha hanap tayo gig ng 6 cycle mind!!
T.22 : GOOD LUCK SA ATING LAHAT BUKAS! finals na.... :(
im signing off... gotta rest... zzzZZZzzzz.... Emily Browning....
..world's finest..
thanks to the team-up of the world's finest superheroes... hah! we were able to do our book report in no time! haha i was with kai the whole day.. and at first we were downloading images.. then we explored her pc with lotsa lotsa pictures!! chics ba?? then at 2:30... we started doing the pages.. Kai was assigned to do the contents, while the powerpoint thing was for me... In the end, it all turned out with Kai, doing the adobe and geocities works, while I was busy highlighting impt. details and summarizing the contents! hehe anyway... I had a lot of fun and we surely bonded... :p SORRRRIIII MAY WEBSITE... hahahaha then break muna..
we were supposed to continue our works when her mom called us because they had to go somewhere.. napasarap ang kwentuhan! haha dba mga bitch?? :p Thanks for lending me the CD! finally! I can watch Eternal na! Unfortunately, my mom called me and told me she already bought me a copy of it... with the SUPERMAN collection... hahaha Fortunate pala... :p
on our way..
ui.. bilog ang buwan...
malas dba? do you believe in superstition?
hmm.. lam ko lang.. malas maglagay ng bag sa sahig dba? mauubusan daw ng pera
ehh bat ganon? mga paulinians d naman nawawalan ng pera? kung sabagay wala naman tayong pera!
hindi.. uso lang talaga nakawan... hehehe
okeii playprod... hehe reminisce!
hehehe kwentuhan sessions before going home.. haii.. we've got lotsa work to do tonight.. and ill be meeting kai as soon as she gets home... anyway.. my fam is here na... i've got to go.. maybe later... ciao!
signin off...
:: adik :: alex ross
..my series of unfortunate events..
uhh.. just came home from my grandpa's house... sheesh! My friends and I were supposed to watch A Series of Unfortunate Events in Gateway... Due to my high demands..
haha feeling! I was stuck in my gramps' house and was assigned to label his CDs.. and only to find myself next to the T.V, lying in his bed... snoozing... grrr!! time was surely wasted.... But he asked me out to eat at Saisaki's.. Though I found out later on that the dinner was actually a formal one with relatives from my gramps' side.. I decided not to come.. I decided to go home.. Since my mom and the others were planning to watch Son of the Mask... I didn't have a choice but to not to attend the choirprac.. :c I wouldn't wanna miss this chance.. especially when my mom agreed to buy me GoNuts Donuts..
ive been craving it for deiizzz... So went off... Well, the good part was before that.. he treated us to Mcdonalds... UNFORTUNATELY... it's Friday... and we can't eat meat... sheesh!! I ate fries and satisfied my urge for sweets...
Caramel Fudge..... wahaha then we stopped over at our
under construction house...
Now... I'm home.. waiting for the others.. preparing... and waiting for my mom from her meeting.. all I can say is... so many chances were spoiled... and it really was a bum for me to miss the chance of being with my fellow colleagues...
maybe next time anna beb! piaaa.... after grad... :p mahaba haba summer... hehehe Tomorrow... Im off to my weekly treatment.. which I often miss to attend. Then afterwards, i'll be waiting for Kai to pick me up and do our book report at her house... waaah!! I hope we can really watch Eternal Sunshine....!! btw...
GOOD LUCK KAI FOR YOUR TEST IN BEDA!! :P KAYA MO YAN! :)
soo my entry ends here... I know expected events will occur later on.. and im still smiling cuz somehow, one force strengthens me up... -22
Happy EDSA Day!!
if it weren't for this historic event.. there would be classes!! wahaha
signing off...
..This may help to those out there seeking for help..
hehehe just wanna post this...
BREAK-UP RULES:1 - Destroy all pics where he looks sexy and you look happy.
2 - Until emotionally stabilized, enter NO STORES.
3 - Never stop thinking about him, even for a moment because that's the moment he'll appear.
-- FINALLY --NO MATTER WHO BROKE YOUR HEART OR HOW LONG IT TAKES TO HEAL, YOU'LL NEVER GET THROUGH IT
WITHOUT your
FRIENDS. -- Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the city...
..there's no place like home..
Feb. 19, 2005 ... saturday...Oh yes!! this day is the best!!! Portia and Cyan's bday celeb.. and it was also a day full of adventure!!
laughtrip!!we changed into our casual clothes at my besty's house... We had 2 cars.. Besty and I rode with cyan's... portia.. kai.. ishi and mau rode with ate thea... we headed towards ishi's house to park ate thea's car... while on our way out, Mau, Kai, Trish, Me, and Cyan we're walking when we saw cockroaches crawling around on the asphaltic ground!! we all freaked out and ran outside ishi's compound! haha
Ishi brought us to victory... a fellowship which we thought was the typical worship. But we were all wrong! WE HAD LOADS OF FUN!! I had a lot of fun.. singing, praising, watching the cute guitarist! haha (he's a member of the band U-Turn... galing sobra!) then the talk.. the speaker was good and really made us realized a lot of things... BESTY!! GOD LOVES US!!! hahaha after an hour and 15 minutes.. we already bought our tickets... Before going inside, we dropped off first at Photoline to take our studio pic.. btw... First time!! T.22 was complete.. :) next stop! Constantine.... :p
Kai: Astig parin yung pakpak!!!! :'D
The combination of water and the cross
Angela... From hell... ehehe
We ordered snacks, everyone ate popcorn while I ate spudz! Nobody liked the flavor though Portia shared with meeh... :) Charm was with us... and boy... someone surely behaved!! hahahaha mwah!!
After the movie, some of my friends were confused about the scenes... Then some of us who understood it explained to them. Sino ba talaga yung kinuha ni Lucifer?? si Isabel or si Angela?? ... 'Ako dba?' hahahaha Then we claimed our studio pics...
Anyway, we're off to Dampa!!
But before that, we stopped over at Ishi's house to get Te thea's license and her dad's police uniform... 'kala niyo kayo lang pwede magsolo? kami din! wala nga lang katawan.. pero pwede na..' hehehe :p
Inside the car, we were all high!!
ishi. Pare! hithit lang ng katol!!!
kai. muntikan ng sumikip dito!
charm. Ok lang yan!!
meeee. taba nyo kasi eh! papayat nga kayo!!
charm. Onga eh.. nakakainggit ka naman!
meeee. hahahaa besty! lipat ka nalang sa likod!
maure&cyan. Wag na!!! wala ka na uupuan dito!!
besty. kung ayaw niyo na ko isama sabihin niyo lang!!
portia. WAAAAHH!!!
maure. Hala sino ba nagsabing gerry's grill nalang tayo??!
cyan. SI GALVEZ!!
meeee. oi!! la ko sinasabi ah!!
cyan. Si Ate Thea!!
te thea. Oi pucha!! nananahimik na nga lang ako dito ah!
Insanity is the perfect word when you sit with us at this very moment... we were all hyper and no one dared to shut their mouths.. it's either you shout with us... or scold with the consumed peepz!! hehehe then we're off to Dampa, Libis...
the hunt for food...
Ate thea and the others chose the food we're going to eat.. while Mau, Kai and I guarded Trish.. hehe UY OH!!! sino nga pala yung artistang yun??! hehehe
They cooked, then they served
Geez!! the dishes were on fire!! haha its as if there's no tomorrow!! but before that....
Peektiur... hehehe
there's buttered shrimps, crabs, inihaw na liempo, baked tahong, fishes!! hahaha good luck charm and ate thea!! lamon lang ng lamon!!! bukas meh kaliskis kayo!! :p
The sad part... it was time for them to drop us off... too bad we couldnt come with them.. hindi pinayagan... :c Then I went online and chatted with my friends...
Ana Kabit!!! missed you na!! congratz!!! c; ... KL - arte!!! uhh... katouch ka ah!! hehehe :D
I had a lot of fun... and yes, I felt happiness again... It made me realize the worth of the present.. and also the future... Just like what the speaker said in victory:
You don't need someone to be complete... Love is NOT blind.. Don't be afraid to accept the truth. Don't rush things. Cuz it will always arrive at the right place and at the right time. My favorite : The only being whom you can love and who'll loves you back unconditionally is the one who created Love itself. GOD.
Hahaha the talk was all about love. And it was an eye-opener for me... c:
This day is the best. Friends... uncomparable.. T.22? irreplacable... and most of all.. one of the greatest treasure you'll ever have... c: Love you guyz!! mwah!!
haiii... finally! my entry is done... Signing off...
..sleepless nights..
I hate THESIS!!! grrr... the worst part you'll ever encounter in your last year!! haii.. I wasn't able to watch the concert in our school because our group had to leave and work our thesis at my place. Then at 6, I had to attend the choirprac because I was needed there to teach them a new song for the mass. Too bad my friend Bencelle encountered serious issues with her dad... Good luck maian!! I hope you won't leave the choir!!! :c Then ate len fetched me with our resurrected car!! whohoo!! no more trike adventures in the night!! haha we bonded so much that we didn't want to go home yet... soo we had roadtrips and talked about our OBSCURE pasts.. hehe well anyway.. im finishing this part in our damn thesis. I have to transcribe Mrs.Tan-Llanos' "sluggish" words to our written report. Meaning I have to list it all down... WORD PER WORD... sheesh!! But im excited!!! cuz tomorrow... gigimik ang tropa!!!! kaya sana kumpleto!! hahaha finally!! we're going to watch CONSTANTINE!!! :D then after that, other plans.. then roadtrip to TAGAYTAY!!! sure am excited!! hahaha its time our inflicted thoughts be brought at peace for a while! there's no place like home.. haha especially with T.22.. love yah guyz!! can't wait for that macchiato in starbuckz... with the great overview!! haha
ADT.. you guyz are still the best.. hehehe NAGALIT NA NAMAN sa atin ang ating mommy cua.. MAKATA! hehehe
surely miss these 3 deiizz of encapsulated solidarity
valene (nie!)... i wanna eat yer sundae na!! hahaha yan kasi.. dameng nilista.. nasobrahan tuloi.. ubusin mo pa tuloi!! hahahaha love yah nie!! hahaha
ysa (hun!)... what happened to the nagaraya wrapper?? and the 2 straws we used for the shared drink?? haha niwei.. thanks for the scrapbook!! I wish we could consume all of the pages before grad..
ayos! pero eh.. nakikipaglandian ka padin sa papa ko!! hahaha
innuh and alli (the great siamese cut and the bewildered pussy!)... hehehe MADAGASCAR, PUERTO RICO, and ZIMBABWE.. let us replenish ourselves and sleep in our dreamlands! if not.. we could always run away... TO THE HIMALAYAS!! hehehe labyu guyz!!
GIAN. 18 coh!!! happy!!!!
T.22 ... CANT WAIT! hahaha
..CONSTANTINE..
Del.. The song of our minds buh??? hehehe sayang talaga concert! :?
6 cycle mind... :cmy post ends here... classes tomorrow.. shux! and I hope our wed. sched teachers will be out! hehe *tamad*... Anyway.. Dismissal is at 12! whohoo! half day.. / free day...
I need to finish transcribing.. I need coffee... im so tired... caramel macchiato zzzzzz......
...Signing off...
..my kryptonite..
superman's weakness.
Kryptonite
Everyone is born to succumb its own weakness. No matter how strong and invincible we are, there will always be factors that'll hinder us in achieving true happiness. Some may call it flaws, but others consider it as their weight to learn their strength's proper usage, until they are fully charged and confident enough to face the unknown.
Seems to me that life is responsible for the changes happening for the past several weeks of unpredictable events. These eyes vindicated the doubts I've kept due to nature's unavoidable sources. Well the results turned out the way we expected. And I guess it's all over. Everything.
I miss you. The ambiance of being with you. Living alone with no one to sit beside me, laughing, kulitan, sharing sweet and happy thoughts, cuddling, and other unforgettable stuffs we used to do. It will never be the same. You know why? Cuz What we had was something really extraordinary... irreplaceable... and unforgettable. You're the genuine type that's soo rare enough not everyone can see. Well.. Now they will. And seeing you from a far makes me smile somehow. But accepting the fact that even this little choice shouldn't be done anymore cuz it makes the process more complicating sucks. Though the other night, I had my last cry, I promised myself to move on and never cling back to the past. Still... imperfection in me exists. I've dropped hope, expectations, and faith in this battle. I try to stay away, and avoid your adorable face. But somehow, it just haunts me.
"eto kelangan mo dba??" ... "hindi.." ... "eh ano??" ... "ikaw" ...
Sheesh.. With that, I can now prove that moving on is the most critical part in any kind of relationship. Be it a short-term, or a serious one.. As long as you were committed even for a single moment, you'll have to strive hard to move on and do what you can to learn this process at the very best. haii.. Life sure is dull especially without a funny clown who completes my day... and I can't imagine more lifeless occurence worse than this.
Being with you surely brought great impact to this grey life. Somehow, i'll learn how to move on. Though I just wish I knew how to.
I still believe in the fact that if supergirl's weakness is kryptonite, i'd represent the heroine.. then you'd be my kryptonite...
Signing off...
..dissimulated intentions..
Happy Valentine's Day! to all those lovefools who wishes life to be pleasant as they deserve to be.
This day really bummed me a lot! Well.. Newsbreak!
Scrapbook pala eh.. hehe I owe my friends a lot for encouraging me to be strong and valiantly accept whatever news I receive later on.
wow! are you really that numb?? Heh! you'd really think I'm that dumb enough to go on and pretend that nothing's wrong when unfortunately, unjust acts are going on behind my back, and I guess im not that dumb to divulge your deluded deceptions after all.
You know what? Why won't you just tell me everything? I feel so worthless. If you really wish to seek freedom, then do it! I'd rather accept that than discovering later on you've been tighting things with ***. Don't you see? Don't you understand? The truth always prevails! Anyway, I guess this is it. What we had was already substituted with a new one. Now its all clear. What you've done in the past is what you're doing to me. Inadequate words? i'm all fucked up! confused! anxious! deteriorated! or whatever you call it. Wait. Pathetic! sheesh! Based on everyone's perception towards your actions. It seems that ive been replaced already. and I guess it's all part of the plan. What im confused about is that, I just don't know what to believe in anymore. But hey! I know everything already. What you've been doing these past few days. It's ok.. ;) can't stop love right? Well.. Good luck with your life. You won't have to worry bout me anymore. no more confusions. and the more blessings you'll receive.. ;) I know you're happy... :) keep up the good work!
Fozz. thanks for being the good shock-absorber. It was great conversing with you back there. ehehe Livestrong diba? :p hehe thanks talaga.. ;p labyu nak!!
T.22. valentine's day really didn't turn out the way we expected it. Don't worry, true happiness will find us someday. we're still the SEVENDERS..
Oria. thanks for the concern. The truth cleared my mind. ;) Labyu nak!!
and to everyone else who were there. I would've lost strength if it weren't for you guyz...
haiii.. now I firmly believe that there is no such thing as a perfect relationship in this world. I just hope that this night, would be the last night i'd shed tears for this erroneous belief for reality. The sad thing is, answers will always remain indefinite. there is no escape from it. It will be the basis. and it will haunt you til the last fall of your frustrations.
signing off...
"hate. loathe anger."
A friend of mine wrote this and posted on her blog.
“Another hour strikes and you’re still not here with me. All by myself. All by myself without you here. I fall into deep trance. I see an illusion of you, as I watch another hour go by…”
Hate. Loathe. Anger.
So deprive yourself from the struggles of this fucking world and concentrate dearly on the things that you’re about to read. See I’m fuming right now. Why? Let’s find out shall we?
It was around 12 mid night here, I was on invisible mode, suddenly, there was a message:
yiyai_22 (12:00:33 AM): ndi nnmn kta naabutan..i miss u badly..love you..
When I replied, she never responded. Well, you know what I think? She does this on purpose. And to hell with that.
I curse that girl.
Yes, you got me right. I am mad! Look, I prioritize our relationship among other things and this is how she repays me? Damn that chic! She says that we could make this work – nah, maybe I should stop believing in that too!
I could never understand their nature.
Some bastards and I sometimes agree that they are too complex. You don’t know exactly what they want. If you give it to them – they’ll refuse. If you deprive it – they’ll ask you for it. Damn it! Which way do you want it? Could we resolve this? Or am I to dismantle myself from this fucking relationship? We’re all fucked up right now.
Yeah, admit it! Motherfucker!
You said it yourself. You’re useless. I never really believed that thought – now, I’m having second thoughts. Look, I miss you badly, so just exert enough effort to make some fucking time for me because I’m so fucking pissed right now. Fucking fucker! Go fuck yourself!
I envy them.
How come you mention them more than me? How come you make such accounts with no sense and without even trying to resolve this fucking problem? How come you get to post on my best friend’s tag board but not in mine? Lame excuses every time I try to get to the bottom of things! Shit lady! I curse you! And so much for this angry thoughts right? When you’re all up there in that fucking country… I can’t do much anything about it anyway. So fuck it! Fucker!
Tell it to me straight.
If you want to part ways, just tell it to my fucking face. I don’t know if I can carry this load any longer. Shit Kayi! One exception – damn it girl! I’m still living. Living because I am intoxicated. Mystified with your fucking beauty. And like promised – the paradise. Fuck. I can’t let it go. I still want to be with you. Fucker! I eat my fucking words because of you.
I take it all back.
Yeah, I know you didn’t react on a single word that I said. You wouldn’t do a single things bout out problem. And yes, you could really care less about what I feel. Still, I fucking stand here to live another day just for you. Just to see you come back this fucking October – or maybe you won’t, won’t you?
Despised. Loved. Loathed. Missed.
A brilliant star is now a dead star.
Explained. I HOPE THAT BROUGHT YOU TO TEARS – YOU NEVER SHED SOME FOR ME ANYWAY.
The accounts of an __Inconsiderate Bastard……
By Kyla Sevidal..
Yeah.. the chaos she's into now. I know how you feel dude. Someday, the answers will clear out right before our own eyes. And the consequence? hmm.. Only God knows... ahaha bobo kami!
.. a tiring sunday morning..
My grandma woke me up asking me if i would like to go with them to their reunion later this lunch. With the headaches and all I refused. and learning that my bag was brought to my house, I was pissed off because the chance of doing my homeworks blew. Anyway, here's what happened yesterday.
Morning. My driver woke me up, informing that I had to go to UST for my weekly treatment. Sheesh! I promised the same day to my sis that i'll be watching her field demonstration. Knowing that I was late already, I rushed off to Crossings in Quezon Ave. to buy some stuffs.
HSS fair. The typical fair I usually visit every year. Elementary students, doing their silly kid stuffs. Graduated students, reuniting with other alumnae.
After Lunch. Danna picked me up and went to Valene's house. We had lunch their and boy! it sure was great! We surely missed each other because of our insanity and cracky jokes! even Valene's mom laughed with us. hehe (she sure is a cool mom.) ;p then at 2pm we took off and headed towards LSGH.
The Fair. A hot afternoon. We can only name a few Paulinians who were seen there. The guyz out there loved the capturing of girls without any basis for capturing them. Only you have to bail them 40 php or else, you'd be paired up for the guy they also chose to imprison! We were all victims.
the four latigos. Good for Danna because Ruigi was there to secure her! :p Then... paranoia began.
Learning that
these eyes couldn't come because of the pests around us, I felt devastated. And yes, I didn't have the right to feel that way. Sorry.
im only human. All of us were devastated that time. And it almost led to Danna, going home. Fortunately, we were all enlightened up when, we saw our batchmates! then the lines were already building up. Car introduced to us her friends.
Sarah and Chris. *no comment!* haha
diba car?? :p We had snacks first at 7-ELEVEN and bonded with each other. We came back and lined up already. Ruigi had our tickets taken care of so we entered the concert FOR FREE. ;D
The Concert.As we enter the gym, the show already started. But it was the battle of the bands who were performing first. Lucky for us since my gramps will be picking us up early, we were able to watch Kitchie Nadal perform. Then I was depressed again back there. Good thing our newfound friend was there, Sarah. Craziness. Yeah that's what I transformed into. Unfortunately, we had to go home.
Geez! it was only 10pm! My gramps fetched us with his classmates, Valene rode with me home and I felt really exhausted. After dropping Valene off, I slept at the back and woke up in my gramps house already.
Hours before slumber time! :)Did the labels for my gramps' CDs. Chatted shortly with Kai. then released my thoughts on this preferred outlet.
** Yeah I felt blasted at first, but being with the Latigos made the trip worth it. :) thanks for everything guyz...
sa 12 uli!!! haha**
..nefarious schemes of great marauders..
If I could just take one moment away from reality and bring these eyes to a place where we call home even for the last time. I'll do it. All this pain, paranoia and discursive thinking. When will this stop? I don't have the power to dismantle everything but somehow I need this cure. To get out of this wretched place. I feel the celerity of each passing moment. The love once shown to me. Filled with sweet words of flattery, is it? or is it not? Confused I am. Somehow, it has all changed when weekend comes and takes it all away. Knowing that you being with *** causes great damage to me. If right is what matters here. I lose every single bet we take. But I just hope you'd realize the consequences of this reciprocation. (Your coming back) Then? Coldness? I curse myself for being an impotent damned, giving away so easily by the words spoken. Though to live strong is what I always think of, moronic actions are what I always regret for doing so. I gave in. Got hooked up so easily. But I guess I can't do anything about it. So if freedom is the best solution for this, then let it be. If this is what you want? let it be. For all I know is, I just want to be loved, longed to be owned, and be well taken care of. This is how I express my true self. My feelings unexplained, and words left unspoken.I am and will always be ... marauded.
..bummed..
My thoughts:The striking feeling ive always hated:
CONFUSION.
again?.. yeah again. Up to where can we hold ourselves with our true feelings for when the time comes when we have to move on, we're already prepared? isn't it that we resurrected this whatever we have in order to make the most of it for the remaining 26 days?
Where do I stand in your life? the line that keeps on haunting me.
Tomorrow. I'll be going to the LSGH fair with my fellow Latigos. As you can see, I can feel the rush of my blood flowing through the different canals of my heart. Pumping. Beating. As fast as it can be. I'm sure i'll be expecting a lot of things. Things that I don't want to see. But I guess I have to face it. Live strong and laugh it all out. I just hope that my survival would be a success.
This day. Nah! another boring cycle. Sleep. Choir prac. and surf. except for the liberty nature gave me. Another conversation was held with yes..
glenn.. Niwei im signing off.. good night.
My choice of music..
True - Ryan Cabrera
I won't talk
I won't breathe
I won't move till you finally see
that you belong with me
you might think
I don't look
but deep inside in the corner of my mind
I'm attatched to you
mmmm
I'm weak
it's true
cause I'm afraid to know the answer
do you want me too?
cause my heart keeps falling faster
[chorus]
I've waited all my life to cross this line
to the only thing thats true
so I will not hide
i'ts time to try anything to be with you
all my life I've waited
this is true
you don't know
what you do
everytime you walk into the room
I'm afraid to move
I'm weak
it's true
I'm just scared to know the ending
do you see me too?
do you even know you meant me!
[Chorus]
I've waited all my life to cross this line
to the only thing thats true
so I will not hide
its time to try anything to be with you
all my life I've waited
this is true
I know when I go
I'll be on my way to you
the way that's true
[chorus]
I've waited all my life to cross this line
to the only thing thats true
so I will not hide
its time to try anything to be with you
all my life I've waited
this is true
Bad Habit - Destiny's Child
How many times
Are you gonna apologize about the same thing
And how many times can I take you back
When I'm not the one that's doin' wrong
(When I'm not the one that's doin' wrong, yeah)
I thought maybe if I started prayin'
That we would get better, but
When I would pray the answer would always come back to me bein'
done
But we are so hard headed when we're in love
So I
[Chorus]
I told myself that I would make some changes
But the more I change there's one thing that remains the same
I can't seem to shake ya
You seem to really have a hold on me
And everytime that we break up
We turn around and make up
This can't go on now
I gotta move on now
It's not the fact that I don't love you no more
But I gotta break this bad habit
Can't take his bad habit no more
I'm totally out of my element
Learnin' new ways to live, while your in a comfort zone
Not even thinkin, (you couldn't think about me) to call
And then when I get mad you buy me gifts
Thinkin' it's gonna solve every issue
From the girl callin my phone, to the pictures that I saw
And every time you would break up with me for nothing at all
I've takin all I could take (I've takin all I could take)
But the way I live has gotta change, oh
[Chorus]
Let me break it down
Have you ever loved somebody
So much that you was just to blind to see
Past, all of the pain they was causin' you
Ladies do you feel me (do you feel me)
Have you ever loved somebody
So much that you went against the right things that you should
do
Then it's time to make a change
So I
[Chorus]
If the feeling is gone
please don't pretend that you still love me
I can see it in your eyes
and it hurts to admit it
I can't tell that the feeling is gone
All i ask is just a little honestly
Though i know that you're not coming back to me
You know i'll do anything to make you stay
But i just have to let you know
If the feeling is gone
There is sadness in your smile
Though it try to conceive it
I can't tell if the feeling is gone
All i ask is just a little honestly
Though i know that you're not coming back to me
You know i'll do anything to make you stay
But i just have to let you know
If the feeling is gone
All i ask is just a little honestly
Though i know that you're not coming back to me
You know i'll do anything to make you stay
But i just have to let you know
I just have to let you know
If the feeling is gone....
** lyrics recommended by Valene.. Thanks nie! :)**
..Did nature just asseverate this day?..
Biglaan by 6 Cycle Mind
Nandito naukit pa rin sa puso ko,
Ng sabihin mo, wag na lang.
Nandito nakatatak pa rin sa isip ko,
Kung paano mong kinalimutan ang lahat.
Kay bilis na umalis, nakakamiss
Na bigla ng di ko man lamang na laman
Na mawawala,
Na bigla ng di ko man lamang naisip
Na'y dahan dahan.
Hindi ako sanay sa biglaan,
Unti unti na lang sanang nawala.
Hindi ba natin kayang magkunwari,
at sabihin sige na lang
Hindi ba natin kayang dayain,
Ang mga yakap sa tuwing lumalambing
Kay bilis na umalis, nakakamiss
Na bigla ng di ko man lamang na laman
Na mawawala,
Na bigla ng di ko man lamang naisip
Na'y dahan dahan.
Hindi ako sanay sa biglaan,
Unti unti na lang sanang nawala.
* I remembered this song when I was chatting with a friend of mine. We were both singing this on the day we had our fun day. Our friends were laughing at us because we were singing it out of the blue together without knowing that we shared the same song in our heads! haha dba del!? :p hahaha
niwei.. here's a recap of what happened yesterday. (02/09/05)
HAPPY mamaMADZ! 9 sets of roses pala eh! hahaha
hmm...
morning. Didn't ride the bus. I slept with my gramps cuz my mom was confined the other night. Talk about being an early bird! *sheesh!* dropped of first at my house, got myself a coat and the medicines that i'll be needing for tomorrow. Arrived early at school with Innah helping me on bringing the keyboards.
classroom. parked the keyboards in its territory. Received a message from cheap! and stayed behind the post with my friend. Good thing no teachers were passing by. What a crazy morning.
before assembly. Bonded with bigbarx. especially Fozz! sabi ko nga hatid nyo ko dba?? ;p then I saw my friends and dropped off..
Mass. Sat beside Kai and Mau (left), Innah*siamese cut!*, and the other "longkatuts!" hehe (right)Didn't play the keyboards. and sheesh! the Mass took 2 hrs. of our time! its ayt cuz the subject it affected was economics. For the first time. I fell asleep! haha couldn't take it anymore!
Recess for all. T.22 merged with Kada_o1..
Math. Didn't get the lesson again. dunced
English. Built paragraphs. then LUNCH! *kakalunch lang naten ah!!!*
Lunch. Jamming sessions with T.22... *you see im crazy for you!! naaalala ko ang mga gabing.. wag kang mag-alala di ko ipipilit sayo... at subukang lutasin sa mga sinabi mo na IBANG NARARAPAT SA AKIN..* MGA SAWI!!?? haha
Research. Thesis. sheesh! defense na!!!
Physics. Pressure. yeah! and im also pressured..
Dismissal. T.22 had problems. Our mentor helped us about it. la ko masabe.
When the driver picked me up, they left me in the convent where I had to take my weekly piano lessons. Bummed as I was, my teacher almost lost her patience. hehe Pasaway!!
Just another boring day. I guess if it weren't for these eyes. It'll all turn out as boring as you can imagine. Signing off..
NO CLASSES FOR 2 DAYS.
....just Livestrong....
..the day i met adventure..
The spark that once faded was illuminated once again when this day gave me theopportunity to importunate the rare chances of making the most out of it. The cacophony of blurred mainstreamsrunning through my head, eagerly left me at peace and for once, I had been able to gaze at these beautiful eyes for I missed it very much.
Recap:
- morning. Woke up, received a message. and bathe myself.
- before assembly. my besty had a bad morning. But I guess her issues were already settled.
- english. we were the ones who performed first in our "jamming sessions" haha we got the highest score! :p though the latter part didnt turn out that good. we stayed in the plaza because one of our classmates screamed inside the classroom when our teacher was still there.
- C.L - we watched Kwaresma in the AVR. Sat with hun(ysa) and batman(kai).. lambingan. landian. sulutan. haha nang-aagaw kasi ng kabit! :p
- Recess. Portia bought me the sizzling teriyaki! whohoo!! our favorite.. :p
- Computer. Boring. Fixed the scrapbook a little before I give it back. Though Ms.Baasis interfered that led Ms.DV in abandoning us! haha
Ms.DV: subukan nyo yan!
ADT: ms. ngayon nyo lang po yan tinuro!
MY THOUGHTS: hala easy... hehehe
- Physics. Double period!! eeeoowww... Lab time. My braincells stopped functioning during this period. and kinda made me realize the weakness these eyes give in to me.
- Lunch. Kai warned us to wear ponytails for the surprise. Geez. They handed me a cup full of whipcream. "weapon mo yan!" then.. our first victim was the birthday celebrant. CYAN! haha It was unfortunate for her partner Zche to accompany her during that time cuz she was also victimized by us! :p after that, we mashed each other with whip cream poured into our faces including the hair! then the next batch came.. my besty and portia.. haha the next thing we knew. We all felt sticky. But it was fun! after that, we ate! haha I ate mango crepe! again.. My endorsement worked cuz Portia also bought one.. haha after that, Kai offered me a pack of Nagaraya!
Kai : Galvez oh!
*the hot and spicy flavored Nagaraya flying towards me*
ME: sureeeeee..... :p thanks!! haha
MY BESTY: takaw!!
FRIENDS FROM OTHER TABLE: Galvez! tama na yan! *pahinge!*
Then we were informed that we'll have a prac for the ash wednesday mass.
Music Ministry. (skipped Fil) We borrowed Patty's keyboards. practiced with Ms. Ortega. and still.. Felt sticky. ambaho mo Galvez! amoy gatas ng bata! sheesh!
Eco. We were supposed to have a quiz about agriculture so I skipped the practice and went upstairs with Ms.Ortega. Then Ms.Eco told us that the quiz will be postponed due to the teacher's meeting. ayos! ;)
BATH TIME! haha I found my bet (Mau), Steph and Jo along the aurora staircase, looking for shampoo due to the intimidating situation of having sticky sensations inside your body. So I thought of joining them. We asked Ms.Ortega to excuse Tim. whew! lucky for us she knew our prob! so she allowed Tim to go. She lent us her shampoo and towel and had this shameful but fun time washing our heads in the sink on the lavatory in front of St. Goretti. Afterwards, we found other allies on the other side, bathing and washing themselves since they felt the same way we did. I ran outside and searched for Facial wash that ended up, conversing with a friend of mine and even let me accompany her to the phone booth with *ehem!* then.. I returned to the chapel and found out that the prac has just ended. So I went back upstairs and bugged other peepz! hehe peace tayo mellai! ana!! congratz! mahal mo na! ;)
The Unforgettable Dismissal. Got my phone, spent the first period of waiting for the sci sec outside along with my busmates and joined bigbarx since they were near us. Then my dreams came true! MCDO! here we go! ;p
sheesh.. I really missed bonding with them. I had a great time! and I even bought myself a cute devil stamp in their happy meal! made the most out of the missed moments and went back to school happily.
The final bliss. We stamped each other and had fun teasing about the craziness of how my scent smells! haha pero eh.. I felt complete again. For once. I had a great time with my T.22. With my ANGKAN.. (missed you guyz a lot!) and of course.. with these eyes.. how I wish this moment would last for the remaining days we still have.
Call me Livestrong. and lastly. just Live strong. ;)
Signing off..
..the masked . and the marauded..
this day.. hmm.. another tale of grotesque presentations in order for this mind and body to survive. Fortunately.. this day didn't turn out that bad. :PRECAP:
- woke up late again.. received morning messages.. and rushed towards the chilling waters to replenish my dirty self.
- when the bus picked me up.. i left my stupid case with my project for eco in it! (and we didnt even use it.. sheesh!)
- morning assembly held at the plaza.. for some reasons we can't use the gym. (don't care)
somehow.. i just can't avoid the persistency of taking this chance to glance at these beautiful eyes.. though.. I just had to.
- homeroom.. proofs of our class pic was already released! sorry.. we have our own uploaded copies now.. :P
yeah! see how united we are.. :p
- math. Ellipse.. sheesh.. still hate this lesson.. bonding with Tweetie.. :)
- recess. ATE BEEF TERIYAKI!! delicious!! just like my favorite dish in their stand. pork BBQ.. Even Portia tried it! hehe
- C.L . No teacher. There we formed clubs! haha and im the vice president of the MGA SAWI CLUB! :p and the other club.. MGA NAKAMINGWIT NG POGI.. ehehe sorry.. not anymore.. :c haha *peace!*
- Music . For the first time. I can relate. :) ms! minuet na!! hehehe
- Physics. Quiz about density. I answered it confidently cuz I really understood it. hah! another first time for me! :P Ria! nakakalalaki ka na!
- Lunch. Prac for english. ngarag! Mar and Tweetie joined the group! :p
- English. Prac Time! good thing Ms. Santos gave us the whole perioo for practice. We finished the song successfully. ;)
- Fil. Copy notes. Our hot-headed adviser got mad at us (again) open forum!!! hahaha
- P.E. Last subject! Arnis was on the house! aryt! I had fun! but before that.. we had this long quiz! *sheesh..*
DISMISSAL.
it wasnt that bad.. I bonded with my friends.. T.22, we rock! ;) and bonded with Bigbarx.. missed you guyz! missed you ana!! mwah!
at home..
sent by ate len:
You know you’re in love when all you can think about is that one special person and you can't stand being away from them for more than one second. You miss them even though they're standing right next to you. You fall asleep thinking about them, and dream about them every night.
Homeworks. and YM.. chatted with kai.. THANKS FOR THE LIVESTRONG ICON!! really loved it!!!
and conversed with glenn..
value d pipol hu hav touched ur life bcoz u will never know just wen dey will walk out of ur lyf & nvr come back again. (whoa! ouch! the grp message waw..)
and to summarize it all,
I rank this day an 8 out of 10.. :)
hmm... If you'd only knew what chaos im into right now, then you'll see that this bitterness shows no difference to the exile that stands in my existence. Don't judge me that easily. last.haii.. its almost valentine's day... its gonna be a boring day for me i guess.. Cuz I bet everyone will celebrate it with their loved ones. And so does my beloved. well.. that's the way life works.
Signing off..time for some
aminan sessions. I'd just really hope you'd feel this. all of this; and that you may see how I feel about you; and with that id rather stay away from you and move on just to see you happy again with the arms of someone who'd give you everything.
..the fury of a disturbed soul..
In this world, I've learned that there are two kinds of fools.
The predator who feeds on anyone just to satisfy its pleasure. and the prey who easily falls under its trap. What a pity. I just don't understand why some people find puzzling other's minds interesting.. Then again.. the goals of deceiving the truth and mix it with pathetic complications might be their favorite hobby. But do we still believe in the magic of 'karma' ? I do. That for every soul you touch and inflict, it all comes back to you. It may not be today, nor tomorrow.. But who knows? It might just visit you tonight! :p In every darkness, there is light. In every sorrow, there is hope. In every compensation, there is revelation. Didn't you think that eyes soar from every distance and reaches its point that even your deepest, darkest secret can no longer withhold the absurdity of your cursed mind?! that even your comrades feel betrayed for the trust they believed in but was gradually dissipated for the fact that they don't even know you anymore? If you could only feel the adversity im into, then you would see, that what I did for you was nothing comparable to the ones I held in the past. But I guess, barriers are already set. Sealed and contemplated with amnesia, Only caused by the tip of your gratifying need to succumb someone and forlorn the ones you left into your gates of doom. Is this part of your chosen nature? But who am I to speak this assumption to you?! I don't even know you anymore. Or I just really didn't.
-- I got this from a friend of mine. Due to lunacy, a worth-to-keep-for outlet is now being published by me in order for the world to see the dirty works of this society.
-- by the way.. Thanks kai and mau.. and for all my friends out there who supported me all throughout.. couldn't survive this pathetic life if it wasnt for you guys! thanks! ;)
-- I love the crepes!!! hehe
-- Saturday classes tom. gotta sleep!
..amercement of history..
The first day I lived to bring back the old Juz that vanished from this visible world wasn't that bad at all. There were only 3 of us who were present at that time.
Kai , Mau , and me.. One of our comrades needed help due to unfortunate circumstances.
*1/2 you can do it! just listen deeper to yourself and you'll find the answers you need.* *25: thanks for the treat! we really enjoyed it.. labyu! hehehe* hmm.. a quick recap for this day's scenarios:
- too bad we didn't have internet period today.. :c
- Physics time and our Prof tempestuously scolded my friends because of their hilarious line "Vwhere is the Oil!?" :p haha GO VALENE! :p
- math.. not my type of subject anymore..
- english.. WE MIRACULOUSLY DIDN'T HAVE GRAMMAR AND WRITING!! instead, we discussed this poem..
To Daffodils
(the poem written by Robert Herrick about dying *nice*)
Fair Daffodils, we weep to see
You haste away so soon;
As yet the early-rising sun
Has not attain'd his noon.
Stay, stay,Until the hasting day
Has runBut to the even-song;
And, having pray'd together,
weWill go with you along.
We have short time to stay,
as you,We have as short a spring;
As quick a growth to meet decay,
As you, or anything.
We die as your hours do,
and dryAway,
Like to the summer's rain;
Or as the pearls of morning's dew,
Ne'er to be found again.
* and im also excited for our upcoming activity cuz we'll be composing songs through our answers about this poem. c; *
- Research *da bomb!* Kai and some of our friends smuggled Nagaraya and ate it during thesis works.. hehehe one word ang-ANG-HANG.. hehehe
- Economics.. recitation.. this subject is not really for me..
After our club meetings, Kai and Mau informed me that our food was already there. We hid behind the bounded pavements of the plaza and ate as if there was no tomorrow!! *haha takaw ever!!*
- then my bus left me. Fortunately, Mau volunteered to drop me home. I bonded with her and of course with her tubbie.. and had a great time! laughing.. and of course.. the unavoidable topic of reminiscing.. Afterwards, it was my friend Mellai who dropped me off at my house.
- For the last time, these eyes confirmed the final step on letting this fantasy dissolve and wake up in the reality of moving on towards the future.. Sad.. But I guess this is how life works..
and soo does my entry ends here.. im glad that helping out a friend of mine imposed as an outlet that resulted to this feeling of contentment. I hope you'd like it del! ;)
Signing off...
..the demand for panacea..
Denying myself from the fact that this life must go on and live the right way won't do any good. Sometimes you have to give way and liberate your cards in order to prove the meaning of what you feel inside.
..Combustion..
filled with sights of agony, I ran into the halls of misery and burst into tears unexpectingly in front of my comrades who comforted my infuriated soul. Crying was not my option. Precluding it as much as possible, my plan failed and left me with no choice. I showed this output of appreciation to these eyes, hoping that my message to it be deciphered.
When the bell rang, I lined up to this obliged assembly and stared on the floor the whole time, point-blank, with no means of communication with anyone. After the assembly, our first two period subject was computer. During the first period, I can feel the heat of my hands, blurting out of nowhere as I touch my mentor's arms. She described me as a pale looking being, she sent me to the infirmary and got myself treated for whatever illness I feel. Groggy as it looks, I walked down with my affiliate Portia since she also felt the need to go. The nurse asked me whether to take medicine or not, but later on, I was advised then to rest. I slept with my hands covering my eyes and woke up from my slumber with a smile on my face. Weird as it sounds, but with this short span of time, my dream left me signs that I needed to discover. Later on, I fixed the issues occuring with my friends. Ate brunch and lived life the normal way again.
Realizing the loss of time with my other friends, we bonded and joyfully acted as ADT peepz, full of laughter and insanity to one another. This made me realized that my life was right. You could forget your problems by letting yourself get busy especially when you're with your friends.. c: One friend of mine advised me that moving on was my best option. And I guess that now, I am starting to live with it for the next days of my life.
At the end of the day, my mom was in good mood and brought me to the convent for piano lessons. I shared this to my teacher and played my piece with spirit that concluded to fine remarks! After that, I went home, talked to my trustworthy friend, ate len, with her lovelife and shared lessons from our past experiences.
I hope that this new beginning would prevent me from infliction. (memories, rumors, and news on my past life.) Cuz I know that shutting these doors would help me survive depressing moments with my past life. It is so untrue that what ive experienced these past few weeks brought nothing but incurative wounds. But hope for growing .. and discovery for new astonishments that await.. c:
Thanks.. and I wont forget this...
..The song that keeps on running through my head ..
Another Day - Inner Voices
In a world which on turning
With a hope of another day
A love that kept the good times
we were just kids at play
And through the warm of the summer sun
or a chill from the winter breeze
We have too much fun
and now its just a memory.
And now we must go on
and go our separate ways
with the strength of our past teaching
we can bring another day woooah.
I know its time to let you go
One last chance to let you know
Even though we're far apart
You will always be in my heart
I know its time to say goodbye
so many reasons at this time.
So many memories inside.
so many tears in my eyes
As another day passes by.
So here we are
On last chance to give
I know we will make it through
as long as we stand by each other
All our dreams will come true
as long as love another day
I another try to make it through
another chance for me and you.
And now we must go on
and go our separate ways
with the strength of our past teaching
we can bring another day woooah.
I know its time to let you go
One last chance to let you know
Even though we're far apart
You will always be in my heart
I know its time to say goodbye
so many reasons at this time.
So many memories inside.
so many tears in my eyes
As another day passes by.
..just a dead kid who lives in this miserable world..
this day was pretty boring.. i kinda lost interest in math lately because of analytical geometry.. I prefer advanced algebra.. niwei what the heck!? just wanna say that for 2 days straight.. going to school was not my kind of idea anymore.. I don't have reasons anymore to wake up in the morning and wash myself from the freezing waters of this fraternal society. I, alone, can feel the cold blooded nature that embraces me with filth and disdain. Neglected and scorned, I wish I could receive the coveted respect once again, so I may find redemption and feel alive the way I used to be. Will revelation into this corrupted kinship be done first in order for this feeling in me be contrived? Do I really deserve this kind of pain im into? They say that when you love someone, you should be ready. At all times. Never assume, never expect and of course, never complain. For it is you who chose it. But why? Shouldn't it be that loving is a matter of give and take? Give joy and take pain in return? Geez.. How could you ever do this?
